Kopitiam Jokes

I also want to be YB

2010-07-20T03:25:00.000-07:00

During election time, a YB is doing his very best to campaign for reappointment, so he said, "In order to provide better life to people in this area, I still need to work very hard, so please give me another chance to service you. You all must know, being a parliament member is not an easy job anymore, it's very difficult now..." and then, a voice from the crowd replied, "Indeed, YB, it's not easy to take up the job, but who doesn't wish to be a YB?"

The crowd laughs!

Don't make a fuss about it

2010-05-17T02:10:00.000-07:00

A director is doing a movie on ancient Rome historical story. In the midst of filming, the director suddenly realised an actor is wearing a watch on his wrist, so he immediately yell using the loud hailer: "Hey, take off your watch now!"

"Don't make a fuss about it," the actor answered steadily, "My watch has Roman characters on its dial."

Thrifty measure

2008-07-28T04:31:00.000-07:00

A man ask a stingy guy, "what are you doing?"

"I'm learning braille reading," answered stingy guy.

"Why do you wanna learn braille reading? Is your vision getting weaker?" the man continue to ask.

"Nope. I just want to be able to save electricity while I do my reading at night."

The smartest way

2008-07-16T03:36:00.000-07:00

A man panickingly run into police station and request the police officer to imprison him immediately. The man admit that he did something wrong, because he hit his wife with a forceps.

Police officer asked him, "Did you killed her?"

"No," he answered, "that is why I need to come here immediately!"

Divorce

2008-06-21T03:19:00.000-07:00

Mary: Jenny, I heard you have divorce with your husband and you have only used one week to settle all the procedures. I guess you must have paid a lot of money to the lawyer!

Jenny: I didn't pay a cent.

Mary: Really? Why?

Jenny: Because he has become my fiancé.

Difficulties

2008-06-13T02:27:00.000-07:00

Husband: Dear, why do you always put my photo in your work suitcase?

Wife: When there's a problem, regardless how difficult it is, I'll be able to solve it at once after I see your photo.

Husband: See! I'm so important to you!

Wife: Indeed, when I look at your photo, I'll tell myself that there's nothing on earth more difficult than THIS!

Misunderstood

2008-06-03T02:57:00.000-07:00

It was Jenny's birthday and she was doing some gardening in the house. Her husband asked what she wants for her birthday; Jenny wanted a new diamond ring, so she raised her hand and said: "Look at this bare hand."

Later, Jenny eagerly open the present box, and she saw a pair of rubber gloves!

Iron wedding

2008-05-25T03:15:00.000-07:00

Mr Tan tell his wife "Darling, today is our Iron Wedding anniversary, I think we should have a celebration. Our marriage has last for 6 years, I think myself must be made by iron."

Left hand and right hand

2008-05-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

The Judge: Why did you use your left hand to hit that guy?

The Criminal: Because right hand is for hand shake and to make peace.

Don't know romance

2008-05-21T02:45:00.000-07:00

A woman tell her friend: My husband knows nothing about romance. I spent so much time to prepare a candlelight dinner and guess what he said?

Friend: He said he didn't like it?

Woman answered: He said, honey, power failure, let's go out for dinner!

Terrible painter

2008-04-13T02:13:00.000-07:00

A painter's friend came to visit him.

Painter: I plan to furbish the wall of this house, and then do some paint drawings on it.

Friend adviced: I think you'd better do the drawings first, only then you do the furbishing.